I have become but skin and bone

I am fading away. For some time now, I have noticed that I’m losing weight, but, despite my best efforts, I can’t stop the pounds from falling off. I have never been overweight. At my heaviest, I’ve been about 12 stones, but today I weigh just a few pounds over nine stones or 131lbs. It’s not a healthy weight.

Some people with chronic pain put on weight due to lack of exercise. I am the opposite. My chronic pain is knocking the weight off of me.

I went to the swimming pool for the first time in months last week and was shocked to discover just how frail and skinny I have become. The water from the jet pool was too strong for me, it nearly blew me away. I could barely lift my legs to get out of the water. Though there were several older people in the pool, I felt the oldest and weakest of the lot. And the most frightened too.

It’s not that I don’t eat – I do. And I love sweet things. It’s just that I can retain nothing. Day by day, pills and pain are sucking the weight and the life out of me. 

If anyone knows a good way to increase weight, that doesn’t increase constipation, I’d be delighted to hear about it. Because not only are my clothes becoming too large for me, if I don’t build up some strength soon, it will be much harder to fight my way back to recovery.

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Author: frommypulpit

I'm a Redemptorist preacher and writer, with an interest in history, politics, and sport, who is living with chronic back pain.

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