I am now in hospital more than 24 hours. In terms of facilities, it couldn’t be better – spacious room, big tv, wonderful menus (I might add to my miserable 62kg weight), caring staff. A few days in this place would be a lovely break were it not for the reason I’m here, which is to try to calm my pain.
A line was inserted into my stomach yesterday. It carries a strong painkiller, which should begin to ease pain after a few hours. Alas, so far it has done nothing. The pain has not diminished. It’s as if the line had not been inserted at all.
Of course, there have been the usual reassurances – give it time, don’t panic, let’s see what happens over the next couple of days. I know all that, and yet it’s hard not to feel disappointed.
I know, too, that things could be worse. I have a cousin who has been in the same hospital bed for more than a year, and who displays extraordinary resilience. I marvel at his fortitude and determination. I must try to hold onto hope, even if I have always been a glass half empty person.
frommypulpit 
I spent Canada Day with a son and mother who both suffer from bone on bone, chronic lower back pain. The son, who has become a very close friend of mine, tells me the only thing he has ever used and uses still to this day, is cannabis. The mother, who had never tried marijuana in her life (nor alcohol for that matter as she was a huge critic of both), started taking cannabis orally for her chronic back pain one year ago. She applies a topical hemp oil to the area and this in combination with her daily medication, makes for the best treatment she’s ever had.
One point they both make despite this is that early on, experimentation was needed to find the appropriate strains. I know this type of treatment is not available in Ireland but if this next round of activity is not a success (and I’ll pray that it is), I’m sure topical hemp oil might be readily available in Ireland and I’d be willing to help you create the media necessary to “crowd-fund” a trip to the Netherlands, if this is something that you’d be willing to do. For chronic back pain, you need to think outside the box. My good friends know that what is readily available doesn’t work.
Canada will be officially recognised as a the cannabis capital of North America in the coming months. Our current prime minister is legalising its use.
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Thank you for your suggestions and support. I really appreciate all you have said to me and the time you have taken. I’m trying to be positive but find it difficult to keep going.
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Although I’ve never experienced this level of chronic pain in my life, I understand the “why” behind your struggle to keep going forward. It’s one thing to deal with pain, it’s another to deal with the comfort the thoughts of final rest may bring. I have myself convinced that the unrest we feel in the earthly realm can follow us into the afterlife so better to do everything we can now, to resolve our fears. No matter your difficulty or suffering, you can’t let “fear” in.
After researching a little, I’ve come to find out that the Irish government is getting ready to decriminalise small amounts of cannabis for personal possession. This is good news for people who suffer.
Hold tight – good things are around the corner, Gerry.
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